We left the Mood Hotel in Chuclayo and headed south to Trujillo where we stayed at the marvellously hospitable Hostal Donde Alberto. Essentially a bed and breakfast type accommodation without the breakfast. The host was lovely we spent many a fraught ten minutes discussing our journey with ‘Donde Alberto’. It’s so difficult when nobody knows what each other is saying. What was even more disconcerting is that Susan (our appointed linguist) started throwing in random French phrases! Yup she’s becoming just like me! What a thought!!!

In my book, Trujillo is known for the best Pisco Sour (to date) in South America, it’s yellow cathedral and the best Lomo Saltado (to date) in South America. The Pisco and the Lomo Saltado are synonymous with South America so that’s quite a record to have ‘in my opinion’ but there’s a long way to go yet.

From Trujillo we had a detour route option to head into the Andes on the way to Lima. By now we had experienced the Pan American Highway in northern Peru (off and on dual carriageway) and the capability to make good quick progress. Susan said ‘no thanks’ to the Andes detour and so ‘Pan American Susan’ set the direction of travel – due south as fast as the policia and the steel horse would allow.

Now the Pan American Highway is a network of roads that runs through 14 countries, from North to South America. It’s about 30,000 km long (19,000 miles) and is said to be the longest road in the world. That’s easy to say, however, it’s not a single road and it’s not continuous. You see it stops and starts either side of the 90km Darien Gap between Panama and Columbia (the Darien Gap is unnavigable and is a natural barrier between North and South America).

Our next stop was Neuve Chimbote. We were going to stay in plain old Chimbote but ‘Donde Alberto’ said we would get shot. Being honest I’m not sure he did actually say that – remember we couldn’t understand each other! But he held up his hand in the sign of a gun, mentioned Venezuelans and that was enough for me. I’m sorry to fall into accepting a Peruvian stereotype for Venezuelans, poor unfortunate refugees that they are. But Donde Alberto’s advice was good enough for me. So we were not going to stay in Chimbote even though it is the largest fishing port in the world (now there’s an interesting fact for you.).

Neuve Chimbote and our hotel were okay. We ate in the hotel restaurant which looked like the staff canteen with huge televisions. We were the only guests and the manger put on the local news on all four TVs at nearly full volume. It was a lovely setting for dinner for two.

The news was all about murders and shootings. Of course we couldn’t understand the commentary but a video of bullet holes is easily translatable. It certainly appeared that ‘Donde Alberto’ was right.

He was such a nice ‘Donde Alberto’ that he kept in touch with us for several days by WhatsApp to make sure we hadn’t fallen into the clutches of the Venezuelan’s, poor unfortunate refugees that they are.

The following day it was the Pan American Highway again and after 260 hard miles through a hard dusty desert landscape we reached Lima.

It was a very difficult day but we checked into a very nice hotel and went for a beer for the ‘driver’. Yup that’s me! It appears many people think you ‘drive’ a motorcycle and who am I to correct them? I have enough trouble with ‘Pan American Susan’ calling her helmet a ‘hat’ and her foot pegs are ‘pedals’. ‘Where’s my hat’ she will say – it’s not easy being the ‘driver’ of a motorcycle looking for a ‘hat’!

So the ‘driver’ was rewarded that day with an ale described as ‘Scottish style – it was as close to Scottish ale as a ‘helmet’ is to a ‘hat’ but it was tasty and so I’m not complaining.

The following day it was another walking tour in a city with a very European look. Lima is our third capital on this trip and the best so far.

And now some more food. I’ve got to post some food stuff because we’ve eaten a lot of rubbish so far – burgers and pizza have been preferable to some of the food on offer. This time it was black tagliatelle with seafood and the second dish is cerviche. Both absolutely marvellous.

I’ve got to show show a photo of a pre Inca adobe pyramid (Huaca Pucllana) in Lima even though if not much to look at. It beats Machu Picchu by about a 1,000 years so it’s worth a photo or two. The second photo is three burials – yes they buried the parents with a baby as the baby knew the way to the afterlife. The things people did!

Finally, here’s something you can’t do. Join the Peruvian army and take part in the changing of the guard. Oh you could try and change your nationality and get around the age barrier but there’s no way you’re marching like this!

After Lima, our last stop on the Peruvian coast was at Paracas where we stayed in a lovely boutique hotel. It was there I was ‘assaulted’ by a plate of food.

To explain, hidden under that pile of salt in the middle was a firework and when the waitress placed it in front of me it popped and crackled and shot lumps of salt into the air! I could pretend I laughed with everyone else but after a lump of salt hit me in the eye and others nipped my arms and head I felt I was in a war zone.

Susan gave me a reproachful look when I shouted, swore and waved my arms in the air like a big baby. Oh how everyone continued to laugh at ‘big baby’. ‘It’s just the fireworks’ the hotel owner explained. Jeezo, I was scared to order even a beer after that – I imagined I could hear the staff in the kitchen giggling and planning their next wave of attack. So I retired to my room where I had a can of beer that behaved and didn’t assault me.

That night we relaxed in the sunset. Tomorrow we had to leave the Pan American Highway and head inland. ‘Pan American Susan’ wasn’t enamoured about the journey ahead. She must have had some kind of premonition – remember that Chumbawamba song?

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