Now Susan calls me Contingency Clif because I’ve always got back up plans. She actually calls me a lot more than that but that’s not relevant to this blog.

So when Josias and I stepped off the bike and I said ‘esta jodido’ I already had back up plans. It certainly wasn’t going back to granny! One of these options was to get back to Panama, come home and start again in 2026. Yes, Susan had agreed to that if necessary.

However, Josias stepped up, used my spanner and released some fluid from the clutch. We both tested the bike and it appeared fine. Hallefuckinglujah!

We parted ways. Josias said he found me ‘frightening’ and I was surprised – he didn’t actually see that side of me. I told him he was a nightmare to deal with. He told me he really liked me. I told him he was a nice guy but a nightmare. Oh, we had a pleasant goodbye.

As a footnote to this relationship, Josias has since said he would like to visit me in Scotland and ride motorcycles. He was serious. So if any of you have vehicle repairs needing attended please let me know and we can sponsor him and granny.

Photo time to break up the narrative. The bike is ready to leave. I’m starving (no breakfast), sweating and a bit of an emotional wreck after the last few hours. Please don’t zoom in on Susan as she’s got some maple syrup on her chin from her lovely pancake breakfast. How the privileged live!

Off we go to Leon. Bike repaired. It’s only a two hour ride as well. Sweet!

‘Oh, come on Clif’ I hear you moaning! ‘You’ve strung us along with this Nighmare 1,2 and 3 and suddenly it’s all going swimmingly’. ‘You’re a fraud’. You’re just like the Rocky movies. You’re milking it when you actually have nothing more to say!

Well, it was going swimmingly until I felt uncomfortable with the clutch. It just wasn’t right. I was tender with it as tender as I could be. The old clutch massager was back in action.

Oh, I know you’re tired of clutch this, clutch that!

I appreciate that and let me tell you that Nighmare 4 isn’t really about the clutch. The clutch only has a bit part role in this sequel.

Oh, you’re listening now aren’t you?

Well let me explain. It’s 40c. It’s hotter than a pizza oven.

You know what’s coming don’t you?

Who doesn’t like pizza oven temperatures? Well, we all know Pancake Susan doesn’t!!

There I am massaging the clutch when I hear in the intercom ‘if you see a garage can we stop’. ‘Yes, but there’s no garages about here’ I reply.

We’re in the Nicaraguan countryside and it’s pizza oven hot with no shade. Let me assure you, this isn’t North Berwick on a nice sunny day! This was Nicaragua, in the middle of nowhere, jungle all around, hostile and did I mention it was pizza oven hot?

It was at this moment, Susan decided to make it all about her.

So you remember the earlier story when Susan got so hot she could only see white light?

‘Oh, yes Clif we’ve heard that story before – don’t tell me she’s at it again?’

Well, we had none of that white light nonsense this time. She bypassed all that!

For at 55mph on the Nicaraguan highway she fainted!

No melodrama. No swooning. No moaning about the heat.

Just ‘thump’.

That’s the ‘thump’ from her head hitting me on the back.

‘Thump’ that’s her head hitting me for a second time further down my back.

She’s coming off.

At 55mph on the Nicaraguan highway.

Welcome to Nightmare 5.