Category: South America

The Mountainous Fraud

Our journey south from Quito was harem scarem following the sat nav through Quito back streets. Once on the highway we cruised along happy as a llama, heading south.

Speaking of llamas here’s an alpaca. Well they’re much the same thing are they not?

Okay, okay, let’s see a baby llama and Susan.

More interesting than Susan and a baby llama is the mountain in the background.

That’s Cotopaxi, third highest active volcano on earth. For the last two years climbers haven’t been allowed to the top as it’s a bit too active just now. Currently, it’s at Alert Level Yellow (second highest level). It’s a stratovolcano which means that it’s of a type that can explode violently upon eruption. However, just look at Susan – fearless as the baby llama. As she. says ‘ after being on the back of that bl**dy bike in Columbia, I have no fear of potential pyroclastic clouds’!

Here’s another photo as the sun set over our hostel.

Yes we’re in a hostel again. We went for the private ‘family room’s as our bike gear is quite bulky. Here’s our room. Comfortably authentic is how I describe it.

The following day, a couple of hours down the road we stayed at a hacienda. This time I treated Susan to the full romance package with rose petals on the bed. Please don’t show this photo to your partner as they will complain ‘why can’t you treat me like Clif treats Susan’! Instead, show them the photo of the hostel above and they will be grateful they’re with you.

This hacienda was a fairly eclectic museum type place. It also had rabbits so here’s another photo of Susan feeding things. She’s being doing so much for animal welfare in South America.

And now for another interesting fact and this one’s going to knock your socks off!

So you think you know the highest mountain on earth? Well no you don’t!

This is the highest mountain and it was right beside our hacienda. This is Chimborazo, inactive volcano (last eruption 550 AD) and the highest point on earth. Move over Everest.

Let me explain. The earth isn’t round. The combined effects of gravity and rotational forces have pushed the earth’s mass around the equator. Effectively there’s a big bulge around the middle. Please stop looking down at yourself and keep reading…

If we take this equatorial bulge into account then Chimborazo is further from the centre of the earth and further out into space. The summit of Chimborazo is actually over 2,072 metres further from the centre of the earth than puny Everest. It’s a winner hands down!

And, completely irrelevant to South America, you will be surprised to learn that Everest is also beaten by Mauna Kea on the Big Island of Hawaii. This mountain originates deep below the Pacific Ocean and rises more than 10,210 metres compared to puny Everest at 8,848 metres.

So the next time someone asks you to climb the highest mountain in earth you can raise an eyebrow and say ‘oh yes I would love to go to Ecuador’ Just not on a motorbike!

Comuna 13

Once the most violent city in the world, the home of the notorious Medellin Cartel, led by Pablo Escobar. Once the city dominated by left wing guerilla groups the FARC, ELN and EPL. Once the city dominated by the military operations and right wing paramilitaries. Once the city where nobody would dare go on holiday.

Things have changed. Okay so it’s not a bed of roses and whilst there’s a lingering negative reputation, it’s actually quite safe to visit Medellin and enjoy the unique culture. Unfortunately, this means I don’t have a scary story to share with you.

Instead, let’s share some happy hip hop. Oh go on give it a chance. You were young once, remember? It’s certainly not worse than ‘shang a lang’

Let me explain further my reason for this video from Comuna 13.

Comuna 13 was once the most notorious area of the most notorious Medellin. The district is strategically located on the road to the coast where all the cocaine travelled and it’s always been a key location for the bad guys.

When the army eventually cleared out the guerilla groups from Comuna 13 in a series of questionable military operations culminating in ‘Operation Orion’ on 16th October 2002, there was much anger and disenchantment, particularly amongst young people. Not least because right wing paramilitaries assisted the army in the disappearance of many family members. Whilst there’s no denying that crime was brought under control, Comuna 13 was still a cauldron of frustration and hate against authority and government.

That’s where hip hop and rap comes in. For the last 20 years it’s been an important outlet for young people, a way of expressing their anger, frustrations and hopes. And I do mean important. So I thought a short video was appropriate.

Oh, I know there will be someone out there saying ‘shang a lang’ would also be appropriate in these circumstances, quoting the words ‘we sang ‘shang a lang as we ran with the gang’. Well I will give you the ‘gang’ reference but in my case for the prosecution I will refer to the next line ‘doin’ doo wop be dooby do ay’. That’s just not going to cut it in Comuna 13!

Talking of Comuna 13, here’s the place. Once the most violent place on earth. It actually looks quite nice in the sunshine though I do I appreciate that comment is very subjective.

Now for some culture and art – we’ve got to try and raise the intelligence quotient of this blog now and again. Please stay with me though I do appreciate it’s hard for some 😄

Wall art is another important means of expression in Comuna 13 and this is an example by Chota_13. You can follow her on Instagram if you’re so inclined. Yup, you’re probably not so inclined but nobody said my efforts to bring culture to this blog was going to be easy.

So what does this wall art represent. Basically, it means you are in charge of what’s inside you’. Please note how I’m keeping my explanation simple. I’m either catering for my audience or I’m at my own limit. 😀. I will let you decide. Namaste.

Here’s some more wall art. Probably the most important wall art in Comuna 13.

This mural is representative of ‘Operation Orion’ (mentioned above) and it’s full of symbolisms representing the army (camouflage), the right wing paramilitaries (ace of spades), families hiding at home (eye in window) ….. Okay that’s enough. You’re now sitting there bored thinking, let’s get back to stories of Susan falling off the bike.

How about a photo of an escalator? Does that make it more interesting for you?

A series of such outdoor escalators were installed in Comuna 13 to improve accessibility. They also provided an easy way by which lardy tourists could visit. Hence, Comuna 13 going from ‘gang hell’ to ‘tourist hell’. That’s progress I suppose?

Finally, a photo of us. That day was our wedding anniversary and I treated Susan to deep fried shrimps and beer at the Bogota Beer Company in Medellin. What a guy I am!

I thought I would also share another photo taken on our wedding anniversary. This time it’s 2014 whilst cycling across Canada.

Her only treat that day was a whole mars bar to herself. So, as you can see, despite all the hardships of motorcycling in Colombia, Susan looks a lot happier this time. I could possibly say, she’s never had it so good!

Finally, finally, I can’t leave you wanting more. So here’s some more.

Just bringing young people and energy into your lives. And as me and my young hip hop homies say ‘hang loose’.

Hola South America

Starting in August 2023 in Bogota, Columbia, we will travel 18,000 km south through Columbia, Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, Chile, Argentina, Chile, Argentina, Chile, Argentina and to the end of the world at Ushuaia.

Then it’s back north through Chile to Argentina and a finish in Buenos Aires in early December.

Well that’s the plan!

For this journey we have left the trusted tandem bicycle at home and have swapped it for 1,250 horses in the shape of a BMW GSA motorcycle.

No longer will there be tears and tantrums (that’s me not Susan) when a mountain approaches. Instead, with a flick of the wrist and wind in my groin we will speed to the top. I may have moaned my way over the Rockies (twice) and broken down in the Blue Mountains of Australia but bring on the Andes for I have no fear sitting on my 1,250 horses.

Well that’s the plan!

And of course we all know what Helmuth Von Moltke said ‘no plan survives first contact with the enemy’.

Oh dear!