Magpie Mayhem

On the morning we left Meningie, we struggled to pack up our tent in the strong wind. However, we were lucky as it was a northerly wind and it helped us considerably on our road south to Kingston.

We ate up the kilometres as we cycled the undulating hills along the coastal road. On our way we met another solo cyclist who was cycling from Broken Hill to Melbourne. He was on a lightweight carbon road bike with the absolute minimum of gear and no panniers. He looked professional and I felt just like an old guy on a big bike standing next to him. We caught up with him again at his lunch stop and chatted again. Yes I did just say ‘we caught up with him again’! To explain, just think about the tortoise and the hare story.

This time as we chatted I felt a bit left out as he and Susan swapped advice on clothing and he shared that he was wearing a woman’s sleeveless woolen vest. Well, when I say he shared, he unzipped and showed us his camisole type top and spoke of the practicalities. All I could see was his lean physique and hairy chest. Susan was most impressed and rolled up her shorts to show him her tan lines. I didn’t know where this was going but I remained confident and relaxed. I knew I could easily close down this conversation by offering to show my Rohan synthetic underpants that are entirely practical but fit like I’m wearing a bag of potatoes.

After lunch we set off for an afternoon 80km but the wind died, the skies darkened and then came the mad magpies. We pass thousands of birds everyday – it’s part of the pleasure cycling in Australia. However, magpies are known to attack cyclists heads when they are nesting and we have seen cyclists with zip ties on their cycle helmets – they look like porcupines with the zip ties sticking up. We have never had a problem.

This day as we cycled I was startled to see a magpie flying one foot off the road directly towards us. To describe, it was like the approach of Lancaster bomber in the dambuster raid culminating in a extraordinary swoop upwards as it reached the dam (bike) with claws extended and screeching. Now I don’t know if magpies actually have claws but the description fits. I was eye to eye with a mad magpie and if it was about intimidation and mind games it was winning – I was scared!

I looked up and there was another bandit circling at 12 o clock high ready to attack. There was not enough time to get out the zip ties and I had to think fast. We were under attack! So I deployed Big Gobby. ‘Oii Oii’ I shouted as loud as I could and let it have both barrels of sound. The bandit at 12 o clock twitched in mid flight and dived for cover in the trees. The first magpie came in for a second attack. ‘Oii Oii’ Big Gobby fired off again and the mad magpie turned away mid flight. Confidence returned to the terrified cyclists when they realised Big Gobby could stop birds in mid flight. The bandits headed for the distant trees.

As we continued cycling a couple of locals down the road were laughing -they had obviously heard Big Gobby. The British Expeditionary Force waved as they cycled passed. For the rest of the cycle Big Gobby was called into action several times. Unfortunately, there was also a couple of friendly fire incidents where I panicked and scared some perfectly reasonable parrot type birds but I was nervous and by this time had a hair trigger Big Gob.

Eventually, after a long day and a reasonable 145km along the coast we reached Kingston. The following day we deserved a short 44km to the lovely fishing town of Robe where we are now. The small strip of land through the centre of this photo is the route we cycled.

Adelaide to Robe: 384km